all i want is You

2005-10-18T18:10:00.000-07:00

ever since i got back my results.. i begin to doubt god. i was wondering whether he was really there? but now i begin to think through, i didnt really try my best for my exams. i did last minute revision. its not right for me to blame god.

it takes time for me to forgive and to forget every single thing that happened. i really wanna thank maam amanda for making me have faith in god again. i wanna thank master yimtong for talking to me when i was depressed. and of course, my darling, huifang. she was the one that was always always always there for me. and of course i wanna thank god for bringing to me such wonderful people.

-God bless-

2005-10-15T20:27:00.000-07:00

god? are you there? this is cheryl.

2005-10-08T12:48:00.000-07:00

woohoo! im going on this sports craze thing. haha! figured out that its better to take my mind off some things. better than just sitting at home, thinking about everything or going shopping and wasting money.

sunday! exercising with amilyn at her house. monday! exercising with cherie and we shall run all the way to ang mo kio to meet ncc people. tuesday! playing basketball and going to the gym with jazreel! wednesday. school starts. and. we get back our results. urk.

went to church. i realized im becoming more impatient and i dont smile anymore when i serve god. sigh. i dont know. when have i started becoming so bitter. i guess its because of everything that happened this year. i just cant seem to forgive or forget.

i hate myself. why. why cant i forgive others just like how jesus died on the cross for our sins. i stare at my reflection. i just feel like a dodo. dodo? hahahahahah! extinct birds. -.- i guess the hurt will slowly go away. and i shall keep believing in god's miracles. i wanna be like joseph. positive attitude! (: was that why i had the paper which had the word joseph during cell? was god trying to tell me something? hmm.

All I Want Is You
by Planet Shakers

I've waited all my life to be here face to face.
I never knew that I could feel this kind of grace.
The way You show me that Your blood has washed me clean,
Could never be erased; it lives inside of me.

Take me to that secret place,
Where I can only see Your Face,
And nothing else will ever feel this way.
You take away my guilty stains,
The things I've done that I can't change,
It's only by the Power of Your name.
I stand here in this place,
See the Glory on Your Face,
Taken by the wonder of Your name.

I'm desperate for Your touch,
Never needed it so much,
Cause all I want is You.

When all the things around me have fallen to the ground
I'm always thankful for the love in You I've found.

2005-10-07T19:50:00.000-07:00

you know something.. exams are over!

heh! finally. this day has come. couldnt be bothered to do my chinese paper. and i was going to fall asleep. oh well. cherie, yvonne, mayee, ann, georgina and abigail went to maam amanda's house to return her a book. her house was really messy. and we went to jurong east to ice skate!

haha. honestly, i really hated ice skating. i cant even walk properly and you want me to ice skate. er. haha! but it was fun. we saw maam kaiqian! hurr. so cute. thank you yvonne and mayee for teaching me how to ice skate. (:

we went to eat in pizza hut and we went to jurong point to shop. everyone went back. but yvonne, cherie and i went to bishan to walk around.

why is it so contradicting? i love to worship god, i love god. but. im just so tired of my life. im just so tired of living. sometimes, i just wanna be alone so that i can die.

ive changed. i know ive changed. one moment i can be happy another so angry. i cant seem to control myself or my emotions.

why do i feel as if im losing everything. i guess its just me.

2005-09-30T16:09:00.000-07:00

shall blog for elissa. since she helped 2pr collect the geog paper 1 and 2. (: hahaha!

i realized i really need god's presence in my life to do my finals. not by seeing her. i know tasmana got irritated when i kept wanting to see if she came to school yet when i havent even finished studying. obviously, i went mad for geog. at first, i couldnt remember anything. sylvia, yirui and i prayed for our geog papers together! and it really worked. in the examination hall, i didnt even panic! woohoo! and even though i didnt know much for geog, i anyhow crap. oh well. just hope i pass.

thank you jesus. (:

i give all the glory to you!

i shall remind myself that last minute revision is veryy bad and doesnt work for me. and giving up is badd!

i cant believe my sec 2 life is going to be over. like ZOOM! alot of things happened. but during the english paper one, i wanted to write about betrayal. but god told me to put everything behind me. unforgiveness will bring me to hell. those who have harmed me will be punished. and i wanted to write about the happy trio. but i realized. its no longer a trio. one of my closest friend in primary school, we have gone our own ways. even though we're still in the same class. but yupp. i guess god just wanna tell me that nothing remains the same. everything change. like ive changed for the worse.

only one thing that remains the same is the love of jesus christ.

through just one simple english paper 1, i cant believe ive learnt alot from god. haha!

nowonder people say that its not only in church that you can learn from god. but anywhere and everywhere. because god is always with you!

i must learn to treasure my friends. always taken them for granted. never listening to them. never been a good or nice friend.

i didnt really treasure god as well. always thought that he would be there for me, so i neglected him by not doing tawg. until on the later months, i realized i couldnt sense god anywhere. even though he was in front of me. i was blinded by the devil

now its time for repentance!

alot of things happened. but through all these obstacles, comes a great reward. like learning so from my saviour, jesus christ.

-God bless-

2005-09-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

friday
my oral was damn.. eh? haha! i just couldnt control my laughter. then it was the last parade of the year. i felt rather.. empty. just remembering the parade when our ncos 2005 first took over. sigh. we got to teach the part as. pt was rather slack but fun. now we're going to be part cs. excited but scared. abi, suzy and i went to iceskimo! the ice cream there is really good! we took alot of pictures. it was nice and fun! hopefully, next year, we can go every week.

abi suzy cheryl ; iceskimo triplets

saturday
went for orinteering to support cherie, georgi, abi and suzy! gave them "encouraging" cards before they went for the test. 2nd sg charlene, yvonne, angela, ann, mayee and i started talking about stuff. (: some problems here and there. it was quite confusing. but i know, all the supporters who went know that you guys tried! im really proud of you guys for completing the competition thing. it depends on how you guys look at the situation, but from my perspective, i think you guys did great! you guys really didnt disappoint us at all, we're really proud of you guys!

rush to church for new beginnings course. i didnt bring anything and was wearing my pt kit to church. carecell was really nice. loraine was playing her guitar while we just speak to god in the tune. i started crying quite badly. i guess it was the god's presence. service was great. but half the time, i was dozing off. i was too tired and too hungry. heh.

-God bless-

2005-09-08T22:47:00.000-07:00

im just so scared to be close to anyone, in the platoon or my friends. i just dont wanna get hurt again.

i always blame others for being so bias, hypocritical and selfish. but the truth is, everyone is bias, hypocritical and selfish.

i just hate myself for letting you know so much of me. i just wish i wasnt so close to you last time. just wish i didnt tell you my problems so that i didnt have to depend on you so often.

im scared. on the outside, im laughing like a crazy woman. but on the inside, i just sense all the hatred and sandess. i just wanna rip myself apart.

send me an angel. or just bring me back to my close friends whom i could trust. or have they just left me alone?

i know you dont need me. but i really need you back by my side.

but i know its not going to happen.

cos youre gone.

friendship takes two hands to clap.

-god bless-

2005-09-02T20:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just feel like killing myself. Causing so much shit to people.

Ive so much on my mind that I cant even think straight.

Last time I used to get so freaked out when I hear cases about people cutting themselves. But now I know why..

There are days where I stare at the penknife, look at my wrist. But I always remember gloria's words 'youre too precious to be hurt' or something like that.

I just hate myself for being over sensitive and being so shit. Okay..

You know whenever people ask me what are the good points about me. I used to tell them my smiles, laughter and enthusiasm? But I realized, theres nothing good bout me.

Today, mrs cha went up to me, touched my back and told me 'cheryl, God loves you.' At first I got rather frightened. But I realized god sent me an angel to tell me that he loves me and he will never forsake me.

Haha! Mrs cha, god sent angel (:

I will never forget that four words she said to me.

If I leave this world tomorrow, I just wanna tell you guys that I love you.

ivewastedtoomuchtimeonyou.imlettinggoofeverything.

-God bless-

2005-09-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

i wanna start all over again. but i feel as if no one is giving me that chance to. i begin to regret the things ive done. how foolish ive been.

i feel as if im losing everything. i feel as if im falling and no one is there to catch me.

i cant seem to trust anyone. i dont even dare to talk to people about my life.

the only person i can turn to is god right now.

-god bless-

2005-08-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

Life sucks when people are like smarter than you, better than you in everything. Its like.. no point living when you know you cant see the future in you.

Like youre going to fail even though you try and try. Hmmm.. probably thats why my fighting spirit is dead.

I feel so useless and dumb. Like.. I practically hate myself and I am jealous of others.

Knowing that next year, I will end up at a class that I dont like and I will be separated from my other friends. ):

And and and.. im deadddd.. its like I wanted to study harder because of her. But.. I cant concentrate.

Probably because I cant even do it. going to be such a disappointment to her.. ): and shes in the smartest class. Eeyer.

Isnt it so.. frustrating when you have friends that are SUPER smart. While youre SUPER dumb. >: (

Feel like killing them!

KIDDING!

Haha! (:

-God bless-

2005-08-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

Went for rock climbing today. Aah. Dont wish to talk about it. -.-

I had the same nightmare again. I dreamt of it four times already. its like many staircases to go through where there are doors and you have to open them. And ghosts will grab you and lock you inside. During all these nightmares I had, I would always have my friends beside me to go through this nightmare. two of the nighmares, I was with my platoon mates. One was with my classmates. But the most recent one I had which was yesterday, I was with some of my friends. But all of them left me alone to go through the stairs by myself.

I dont know if god is trying to tell me something about going through obstacles by myself. Right now, I feel so un-motivated, sad, angry, everything. Every single time when I am alone, I will cry out to god. But the heavens are always silent. Like no one is there for me anymore.

I never dare to tell anyone my everything and anything. The only person I tell some of my stuff is Yvonne.

Dont leave me alone to face everything by myself, god. I really need you. Why do I feel as if you have forsaken me. I cant do anything by my own strength. I need your love and encouragement, god. I need you inside my heart.

Delirious - Rain Down

Looks like tonight, the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
Beneath my feet, the earth is ready
I know its time for heaven's rain, it's gonna rain
It's gonna rain, again

Cos it's living water we desire
To flood out hearts with holy fire

Rain down all around the world we're singing
Rain down can you here the earth is singing
Rain down my heart is dry but still I'm singing
Rain down rain it down on me.

Back to the start, my heart is heavy
Feels like it's time, to dream again
I hear your voice, and yes I'm ready
To dance upon this barren land
Hope in my hands

Do not shut, Do not shut, Do not shut the heavens
But open up, open up, open up our hearts

Give me strength to cross the water
Keep my heart upon your altar
Give me strength to cross this water
Keep my feet don't let me falter

-God bless-

2005-08-20T21:45:00.000-07:00

Went for flag selling, started at 830. We had to go in pairs, I went with cherie. We went to city hall! Saw a lot of funny stuff.

There was one really scary thing.. below the old courthouse, we saw this old lady talking to an invisible thing. Then she was arguing and staring at nothing. We were super freaked out.

We went back to the station at 1. The woman told me that my tin was too light. Said that she will have to reject my tin and I wont get any CIP hours if I didn’t go to collect more money again. Bloody bitch la. Since cherie’s tin was light than mine. We both went again. We did it till 3.30.

Went to church. And the bus was about to break down. I was super scared and was late for the praise songs part. Oh well.

Sorry god, im still not ready.

-God bless-

2005-08-18T19:29:00.000-07:00

Whoosh. Im so dead.. I think I will most probably go single science. Yadda yadda. I need to study! But I just cant concentrate.

I NEED TO BE MOVITATED! Some people are like..self-motivated. Hmm. I should learn from them. Whateverrr...

Sometimes.. you cry out to God so many times, but he just doesnt answer you. Sigh..

Theres just so many things I wanna tell my friends and platoonmates..but i cant bring myself to do so. theres just so much hatred, sadness, shame and anger inside me.

people are ever changing. one moment, they are so nice to you. the other moment, they just suddenly hate you. learn to trust nobody, not even yourself.

DO NOT SHUT THE HEAVENS! BUT OPEN UP OUR HEARTS!

ihateyou.

-God bless-

festival of praise

2005-08-07T15:07:00.000-07:00

yesterday i went for festival of praise! maam amanda was sitting two rows behind maam carmen but they didnt know! HAHAAA!

the praise songs were damn powerful and funn lah!! (: stacey, ann, georgina and i were jumping like mad people!

hillsongs and delirious rocks!

staff edith was ushering! she looked super good.

but we have to move on right? master yimtong and first sg alethea. part b ncos. (: love love love love love

i was seeing the pictures that we had with our part b ncos.. and.. it was really very very saddening. i remember when they took over. i didnt really.. like them and always compare them with our ex-ncos.

but everyone has their good points. just that i preferred the ex-ncos better. but now that they're leaving. im beginning to regret not treasuring them when i could have done so.

i love my ncos!

we have to move on right? master yimtong and first sg alethea. part b ncos.

i love all the memories we had together.

before you leave scgs ncc..

part bs just wanna tell you that we love you and we miss you! (:

-god bless-

farewell party

2005-08-06T13:10:00.000-07:00

i feel like crying every single time i think of the sec 4s leaving.. i would really miss the ncos after 8th august.. i never really got the chance to appreciate all of them. but i realized that all the ncos are really great people.

everything passes so fast.. and i really dont want them to leave. i can still remember the farewell party 2004. sigh.. now its going to be ncos 2005 turn.

yesterday's farewell was screwed yet fun! (: sorry if i blew up. sorry sorry. i was so freaked out and stressed by the teachers. forget it! i wont talk about it. (: but the ending part in the room was the best!! tasmana, yvonne and cherie did a great job! the food was quite nice right?! heh.

after the whole farewell party, tasmana, yvonne, cherie, mayee and i went out with with with.. master yimtong and corporal yimkuan!! WHOOO!! heh heh! it lasted till 10.30pm. WHOAA! heh heh heh!

i still cant believe farewell party is over.. the weeks of rushing.. of what food to buy. what games to plan. my platoon nearly went mad and nearly got torn apart.

platoon mates! you guys are the greatest people! (: i love you!!

sooner or later, its going to be our turn to rod. sigh.. then its our turn to say goodbye to ncc.

scgs ncc is the best of the best! yeah! ncc spirit forever!! hahah!!

she will be loved

all the good memories will not fade away.

-God bless-

2005-07-30T22:30:00.000-07:00

i read maam kaiqian's note to me when i wanted to quit ncc in the beginning of 2005. that note really encouraged me alot..

the main points she told me in the note were that it was never smooth sailing trying to get 13 people together. giving up is not the best solution. no one is going to doubt your worth if you are certain of yourself. it's a matter of whether you want to do it or whether you choose to wallow in self-pity.

if i just quit and leave ncc like that.. i will be like a coward. not facing my problems but just running away from them..

and even though some platoon mates hate me, i know some still are my friends and they appreciate me. its hard to please everyone. and i realized i havent been much of a good platoon mate either. whenever im angry, i show my anger, etc.

i know i cant do this all by myself and i need 12 other platoon mates help. even though you guys might not help, but i know some will. even if the they dont help, i know they're there for me.

i have to stop thinking about not trying and quitting. keep preserving. the pain is temporary but giving up is forever. thats what she told me.

but..she talked to me and smsed me on 28/7/05. smsed me saying that she would help me and work out whatever problems im facing. but right now, i feel as if she hates me and shes leaving me to face the darkness all by myself.

sigh. today, i went to church. i did my ushering. smiling was great. welcoming people into the church was even greater! (:

the race is long, but as long as i preserve and run and not stop. i believe i can do it.

its a long long journey but im not going to say i cant do it.

just do it by nike. (: always look on the bright side.

if life is always happy, then the happy parts are not happy anymore. its the sad parts that makes the happy parts happy. said by tasmana. my huney bunny.

start a new fresh start. abandon my old self. but good memories will never fade away.

jia you! add oil ah!! hahahah!! right..

-God bless-

2005-07-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

Today, during parade, I told myself not to give up, continue trying and keep smiling. Giving up and quitting ncc is forever..

You know sometimes, people smile just to not make people worry about them? But I realized, if you keep doing that, soon you will break down and go into depression.

But after what happened, I dont feel like trying anymore. Have you ever felt like.. no matter how hard you try, nothing will work out and more people will hate you.

NCC is my everything. But for once, I feel like giving up on my everything..

I still remember, during campfeast, where we only had one or two platoonmates with us. We felt rather empty. And when campfeast ended and my platoonmates got back together, we were really have glad and happy to have each other again.

During the pulai camp, that camp really bonded my platoon, made me realize how much I would lose out if I didn’t have them.

But I realized im not appreciated. I realized its not worth giving it your all. Its not worth doing all these. Because people will hate you.

And sometimes.. your favourite person and God isnt there for you anymore.

bye.

2005-07-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

went to ikea to buy the ncos' present. im sure the gifts will be great! (: sorry if i looked pissed ya. because some people didnt wanna listen..

deleted the previous post. because i realized that she doesnt even care. im not going to waste my tears and time on her.

tried smsing her to ask her bout some stuff. she sounded so.. forget it. im going to take it as if i never met her before..

if you dont give a damn, why should i.

-God bless-

sc party!!

2005-07-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

I cant really remember what happened during the week.

But I remembered that I went for a basketball match on Thursday!! SCGS played against new town. It was really fun and funny! Especially with that AMELIA! HAAHAHA! She made me laugh and laugh for no reason. Then I went out with amilyn after the match! Whoosh! (:

The SC party we had yesterday was damnn funn! Ms heng cutting the ribbons with the NCC girls escorting her! Hahahaha!! Then we had this mass dance! HAHA!! Damnn fun! Then we ate. After that. Emily used the cold water to frighten Jazreel and i. Then we took our revenge! HAHAHA! So in the end, all of us were wet! =P damnn fun~

then the basketballers, meiping and I played basketball match. -.-" even though I wasnt a basketballer and I didnt really know the rules. Whaaa! After that we were all in the basketball court dancing and screaming like mad girls! HAHAHAHA!

When the thing ended, I asked master yimtong for a hug. Dont know why. After hugging her, I felt sad. Because she was leaving and stuff. Sigh.

TOMORROW IS NCC DAY! YAYE! Hahaha!

BYEEEEE!

-God bless-

MADCAP!

2005-07-09T21:38:00.000-07:00

parade pt was really fun! great job charlie (: hmm.. the tukar langkah thing and the maju thing we learnt were really cute! the ncos are leaving us! ):

the maams came and talk to us for a short while. when my platoon becomes ncos.. we must pull up the ncc standard! eh.. but our standard isnt that good either. heh.

we rushed to angela's house before going for the madcap concert. oh man! my first time wearing heels lah. and the problem was. i didnt know how to walk properly and that i walked like a guy. the heels were high. cherie and tasmana were coaching me to walk properly in heels. hahaha!!

do you spell madcap as madcap? or maddcap? whatever laa.

the concert was really great la!! everything was perfect. (: cherie and angela exchanged flowers. but the rose broke. because i was too rough..and i broke it. -.-" oh yeah.. and the stem of the daisy broke too. hahahah!!

went to georgina's house to sleepover. watched new york minute. abigail slept first. ann, georgina and i sat on the wall outside the window. it was nicee and cold. ann felt tired and she slept. georgina and i talked. and we slept at four. woke up at 8.45am.

oh mann.. super tired. watched mean girls and hide and seek. went home and got ready for church. played two games. i love the game where we had to find the sps! it was like ncc! where the ncos would hide the cadets. and we would have to find them. if we dont, we get scolded and pump. whatever shit la. of course the ncc finding game was 100 times scarier than the church one.

during the service, my head hurt like crap.. after that, we all went to mac's and eat. yeah.

-God bless-

2005-07-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

I need to pull myself together!!

These few days, ive always been crying. Been so sad. Been so angry. Being paranoid about everything and anything.. I dont even want to smile.

I had even given up on praying because I thought it would never work.

I didnt even want to study for tests because I thought whatever for? Im going to die sooner or later.

What has gotten into me! i cant stand myself. i dont see why or how anyone else would.

Ive got to change my attitude towards life right now! My faith, my spirit, my personality have changed for the bad! But now I need to get back to normal! I need to smile and not make peoples lives miserable by having me in it!

I need to make peoples lives blessed by having me in it! *ego* heh!

love is a selfless thing, the beauty of love is loving the person, not the person loving you back. - quoted by tasmana

ive always been so..angry because she didnt like me as much as I did. But who cares now?

As long as she knows that I like her as my favourite senior. It doesnt mean that she has to like me as her favourite junior right?

Why am I kicking up this fuss for?

Thank you tasmana for waking me up. (:

Thank you God for being there in my life.

-God bless-

shes trying so hard yet i wanted to give up

2005-07-03T19:49:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching the Cinderella story. It was a really nice show.

Hmmm.. every single time I want to study but I am too lazyyy.. ahhh!! *dies*

Cried a lot after reading that email. Shes the best nco Ive ever had. And I thought she was happy to leave ncc. But she wasnt.

Sigh.. this makes me feel so bad bout everything. How much she is trying to improve her cadets. Yet I felt like giving up.

Thank you for everything youve given us, master. We love you.

Dear God, please help me take away the pain..

Amen.

-God bless-

whoosh.

2005-07-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

went for ncc day rehearsal. oh mann!! 1.30pm-6.45pm.

it was really tiring. the first part, we were just slacking. then after that, we just have to keep marching and stand there in position. whoaa.

i feel as if im losing everything on 8th august. when she leaves school and goes to jc, i wont be seeing her forever. i hope she comes back to visit her cadets. will she? she seems so happy that shes leaving ncc. leaving her cadets. so happy when she talks about rod..

will you ever know?

-god bless-

ncc day (:

2005-07-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

Came to school early for ncc day. It was really tiring and suddenly my legs went numb. Haha! After the whole thing, we took a ncc company picture. I realized the truth, im not sure whether its real, but. I think it should be. I was quite sad for the whole day until after school, when I realized, it wasnt worth it..

after school, went for ncc. We did our command and control stuff, the first four ics went. So obviously I was the first.. and I couldnt remember all my stationery drills. My paper was all along with Samantha for her to photocopy. I was so screwed.

Oh well. Suddenly, I dont care much about ncc. Like.. given up. But not totally. Still have a little bit of "enthusiasim" in me.

Part b ncos kept talking about when they rod.. they seem so happy about it. so happy to leave ncc. so happy to leave us. Why? Are we that bad..?

I dont want to change ncos again. I can still remember last year ncos farewell party in west coast.. suddenly, its going to be this year’s ncos turn. Its so fast. And I realized we didnt really treasure them. Dont want them to go.. its too fast, too soon.

Didnt go for guides campfire!! AHH!! I wanted to go so badly, but no platoon mates were going. And she wasn’t coming either. ):

And I cant go church tomorrow..i cant usher tomorrow!! Sheesh.. just because of ncc safti thing.

Suddenly, its so hard for me to control my emotions, control my tears. It just all pours out. My smiles seem to be so.. controlled.

Whats wrong with me? Am I just sad about the truth.

Isnt it sad when you like someone so much, but the person just dont seem to care. Just dont seem to be interested. Or even worse, the person pretends she doesn’t know.

Or..likes someone else.

Bye.

sigh..

2005-06-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

school has started. i just feel so tired. i dont feel like smiling and all. but yet i still laugh with my friends and smile whenever i see them. is that fake? or is it just my usual routine to smile along?

its so irritating, when you try, but no one cares.

sometimes, i just feel like breaking down. just feel like letting go.

wait.. that doesnt sound right. *shrugs*

all i have, i give. but theres no results.

whats the point of trying? when all you get is frustration and pain.

yeah. i didnt know that she saw her name on my file when i was writing some ncc stuff that she was telling me. everyone was like "she saw!! she saw!!" and i was so blur..

who cares now? she basically doesnt care. about me. about my presence.

its hard to find a best friend that is true to you. lauren said true is an all rounded word. haha! like who doesnt talk bad about their friends behind their backs.

-God bless-

BOO!!ahhhh!!

2005-06-25T20:45:00.000-07:00

whoaa!! the first ncc day rehersal thing. i dont really feel so enthu about it. its like.. madness. good thing i didnt faint but everything was just black and the sunlight was so bright. (: i love my platoon so so so so much more. we've bonded so much more after the beautiful and memorable pulai camp.

went to church todayy!! georgina brought her sister along! superr cute lah! shes like so small. she dyed her hair though! -.-" so young yet so influenced. haha!! whoosh! i think my cell group is really nice and yeah.. (: i dream to be an sp. heh. heh. heh. hahaha!!

everyone has their problems. their friends can help them and give them advice. but the decision lies in their own hands.

everyone has their problems. but if a person can care about their friends, lend them their ears, it will be great. (:

im glad i know god. he has done such wonderful stuff in my life and is always with me. (:

yeeeeeha! hahaha!!

-god bless-

pulai camp

2005-06-22T20:23:00.000-07:00

Day one
Abigail and I were late for the camp! Haha! SANA people passed me their stuff and I handed it to miss leong. OH MAAN!! I was super happy when I found out that nas was one of the trainers in the pulai camp!! WHOOSH! Hahahah!! Board the bus. Cherie and I were really scared to reach the campsite. ): mayee and tasmana were like..flirting on the bus! Obscene la! Haha! We did all the passport thing and board the bus again. Finally we reached and all of us were disgusted with the water!! Green milky water! it was pretty cool la. How many chances do you have to jump into this kind of water. we were splited into our groups. Decided to name the group, crayons! Hurr. And my trainer was nas!! Yaye! We did Sherwood games which consisted of walking across a rope, crossing two bridges, (one is shaky and the other isn’t), monkey bar and farmer riddle. If u fall off in any of the games, you fall into the milky green water. Had to overcome my fear of heights and water. monkey bar.. I was scared to lift my feet and reach out to the next bar. I caused crayons to lack behind. Sorry.. then we went to do the no man’s land game where we have to walk across a log. I took the easy way out my sitting on the log and cross. But I decided to go back to try again when the people wanted to do the human chain. I went with Samantha and Abigail. but I fell shortly after. Then I went with corporal yimkuan and staff edith. We made it halfway! Haha! We were all wet and we went on a nature hike which lasted about two hours. We missed the sunset! But the stream was beautiful (: Samantha got bitten by leech which didn’t stop bleeding! A lot of people are scared of cats! I don’t really mind if it doesn’t come and rub its fur on my legs or something. I screamed when the cat tried to jump up to my chair okay! So freaky! Master yimtong talked to us before the sec twos went to bed.

Day two
Ate our breakfast. Trainers told us about the compass and how to do knots and lashing. And crayons and echo went on different hikes. Our hike took us four hours. There were a lot a lot of leeches. I had three leeches bite. We fell down, we slide down the slopes, we had cuts, we had mosquito bites, we went through a lot. But I really feel so satisfied! and I love that hike even though it was so dirty and long!! We went to fix our base camp which was so far away from the toilet. ): mayee and I went to the stream to get water to wash the barbeque pit thing. While taking the water, I saw a girl. Not exactly. I saw a head and her hands hanging. She was grey and white. I asked mayee if she could see anything she said no. so I thought I was dreaming so I walked away with mayee. I had to go back to the stream to get more water. and I saw the girl again. I was so afraid and I ran back to the barbeque pit. After that, I had to put back some ropes. And I saw this old man sitting in between the tree and an orange bag. Suddenly, he disappeared. I was really really afraid. It got dark and there was no light so we had to use our torchlights. Went to the toilet with cherie to wash the utensils. Some people went to toilet again while Stacey, Abigail, ann and georgina stayed behind. We started praying and they asked me if I saw something. I told them I saw two ghosts. They started screaming and corporal yimkuan asked us what happened. They told her that I saw something and asked me to describe. I said a few words and they started screaming. And.. I cried because I was so afraid that of the ghosts and felt guilty that I made people even more afraid of the woods. Nas and master yimtong comforted me. Master yimtong lent me her jacket. Nas and anuar talked about the crayons debrief and they went for their nightwalk. I didn’t dare and want to go. Nas talked to me while waiting for the rest to come back. She made me not think about what happened and all.

Day three
Woke up and found out that people were already making breakfast. Haha! Tasmana and I made a fire in the barbeque pit together! YAYE! Super proud laa! Haha!! Crayons hiked the easier way(the route that echo group took yesterday) while echo took our hard route. Honestly, I liked the four hour hike than the easier one. The four hour hike had trees, more trees and even more trees which motivated me! Haha! We helped echo wash their mess tins and cleaned their ground sheets. We went jusco for shopping..for an hour only. HAHA! But it was damn fun. I bought a lot of food. Hungry k! i bought cherie couple cups and earrings. She gave me a hippo! Reached school at seven thirty. Took my last picture with nas and gave her a hug. Felt like crying when I left. She made such a big difference in my life. In adventure camp and in this ncc camp. She’s always so happy and courageous. I love her for her spirit and personality. Thank you nas.

-god bless-

parents' day!!

2005-06-18T23:31:00.000-07:00

went to church! it was parents day. so sec ones and twos joined the adult service. the praise started. as youths we jump alot.. so.. it was quite weird. like all the adults just stared when we were jumping! but it was fun!

the 'one way' dance done by the dl kids were really nice! haha! the present giving to the parents was a little screwed. but it was quite fun (:

went back to celebrate my sister's birthday and fathers' day! even though it was tomorrow. -.-"

i still havent forgiven a number of people that have hurt me. even though i still smile and talk to them. i still sense the hatred in my heart. wanting to hurt them as much as they have hurt me.

everyday, im asking god to help me take away the hatred and help me forgive. even when the pastor asked for the people to come to the alter if they havent forgiven the people who have hurt them last time. but i felt as if i wasnt ready to forgive them and i didnt want to forgive them.

as if the devil was telling me ''what for forgive them?" im deaaaaad. deaaaaaaad. *dies*

but how am i suppose to face god next time? aaah!!

-God bless-

end of ignyte concert

2005-06-17T23:22:00.000-07:00

went to the dentist! she told me to tell the cow to meet her. hahah! *evil grin*

decided to meet elissa, sylvia, amilyn, georgina, stacey and yirui at macs in the end. hahah! whoaaa.. stupid people! kept making so much noise when the someone appeared!!! so embarrassing!

[im really really glad that you guys enjoyed yourself! hope that you will come again!]

ushering was really funn!! (: the concert was even better! i could really feel the presence of god. was really amazing!! i was like really high at the end of the concert! "you have turn my mourning into dancing" the turning part was reallyyy funny! i was laughing alot alot and sylvia was a little shocked.

yaye! elissa bought the passion shirt!

really really satisfied when i saw sylvia, amilyn and georgina going to the alter and dedicate your lives to christ. (:

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ hahaha!

oh yeah.. sorry if your parents scolded you guys for coming back home so late. but you guys enjoyed yourselves right! (: come back again to trinity!!!

-God bless-

ignyte concert (:

2005-06-16T23:57:00.000-07:00

went out with my mother to buy some stuff. hurr... it was quite nice going out with her.

yeah. went early to church for celebration host meeting thing. ran down the church to find church pens and guest registration thing. haha!

i had to do the door ushering thing, so i had to give out the glow sticks. but the connectors werent connect to the stick. and everything dropped out. we panicked alot.

hmm.. its very hard smiling every second. i realized. -.-" its like you have to plaster a smile on your face and your smile has to get bigger every second. tired tired. (:

the singapore idol person..jerry came today to share his testimonial. was pretty sweet la. he promised god that whenever he had a chance to thank the lord. he would do it. (:

the pastor shared his sermon on.. the youths getting into the devil's hands. and.. aah! im tired. sorry. (:

-God bless-

mr and mrs smith (:

2005-06-15T21:56:00.000-07:00

haha. went out with yvonne and cherie to watch mr. and mrs. smith! (: it was really nice and funny! hahaha!

im not gonna order the yanikuni[sp?] rice burger from mos burger.. theres this..awful smell!

we went to the arcade to play with the games! i like the gun shooting game! hahaha!

we went to john little and robinsons to look for cherie's thing. HAHAH! -.-" her mom came to help cherie find. yvonne and i left.

decided not to go to church for the prayer meeting.. my ankle hurts. ugh.

IGNYTE concert tomorrow! yaye! must report by 6.15pm! celebration host, stand by! HAHAHA! (: *excited*

-God bless-

celebration host meeting

2005-06-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

went to church for a celebration host training. whoaa. i met alot alot alot of people that i didnt know. so i was ultra quiet and didnt know wat to do. -.-"

then we played this game that we needed to find 5 people that we didnt know and start a conversation with them. and make them write down their names on your hands. it was really fun! at least i knew more people!

then we played this confusing game. one will be a celebration host. another will be the first time guests. and another will be the deceivers. i was confused and i was the deceiver. haha! but was pretty fun!

yaye! serving for ignyte concert!! both days! (: cant wait for ignyte concert. although some people cant come. its their loss. -.-" ignyte! i love serving as celebration host! yeah!

must be more enthu for:

christ!
NCC!
school!

yeah! hahah!

-God bless-

honeymoon~*

2005-06-13T19:56:00.000-07:00

cherie was half an hour late for the honeymoon~!! haha! we ate at longjohn's and took neoprints. (:

then we went to look for cherie's clothes. but we bought the movie tickets, we watch monster-in-law!! hahah! really nice show. before we went to the cinema, we looked for elissa, yirui and tiffany at the arcade. shortly, we said bye. hurr.. the movie was nice! haha.

we were walking around when suddenly we decided to go in og for once. hahah! we were looking at lingerie and cherie bought something. hahah!! yeah. went to johnlittle and saw more! -.-" went home after that. typical honeymoon. hahah!

tomorrow have usher meeting. whoaa and this night service in church.

hmm.. i wonder how was the cell outing at sentosa. (:

whoaa.. stupid HACKERS deleted my testis in my friendster?! probably the same hackers that hacked in elissa's account. they're so free that they have to hack in people's account. and acting so fake just to get people to like them. yuckkkk.

-God bless-

childhood memories ((:

2005-06-12T21:21:00.000-07:00

yaye! i did this comic collection book thingg. haha! nice nice! (: but i used the life! newspaper comic articles. -.-" not original. but i cant draw my own comics..cos my drawing sucks.

haha! my sister bought this bubble thing! was playing with it! WHOAAA! brought back childhood memories. (: hahah!

yaye! honeymoon tomorrow! yeeha! haha! eh? yeeha sounds so gayy! but i likee! (:

at the beginning song is nice! but she will be loved is nicer! haha!

-God bless-

trials and sufferings

2005-06-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

went to amilyn's sleepover! woo! haha!! it was bimbo day! haha! x) i love the neoprints that we took, ami! thanks! haha! bought alot of food and ate alot too! i like bens and jerrys cookie dough ice cream! mmm~

watched movies! lilo and stitch, shutter, the incredibles, monsters inc! hah! tiffany is damnn cute! i know i dislike babies but she is one cute baby! but spoilt. -.-

adelyn wanted to watch shutter. so we did.. whoaaa! it was 1.30am when we watched it again. mmm! really fun. went to huifang's house for project the next day. sylviaaa! dont haunt me at night!!! amilyn! all the best for SATURDAY!!! huifang! hope you find a real good friend that you can confide in. but you will always have ME! georgina! you know the truth will come out. dont worry.

yeaaaah~ yaye! tomorrow! we have church! oh yeah! pls come for ignyte concert k? thanksssss! it will definitely be a fun experience for u guys!

-God bless-

dolphin bay

2005-06-08T20:44:00.000-07:00

today was the finale for the dolphin bay show. so touching!!! childhood love. waaah!!! o.o

*~look back on the past because if you dont you might not know what you've lost.

really miss that show man! hmmm..

this entry is crap -.-"

-God bless-

hey hey

2005-06-04T21:07:00.000-07:00

elissa young~! is the worst big mac eater! heh heh.

had to usher block a in church today. i was really scared because this time, i had to usher all by myself. yeah! but i managed to do it! hurr.

i liked today's sermon. mmm..bout God and your friends. the world does not revolve around us alone. but we get caught up in our lives that we failed to see the problems in our friends' lives.

good friend=lay down your life for them, wanting your friends to be better than you and always believing in them regardless of the outcome.

whoaa.. normally in our lives, we always compare ourselves with our friends and if your friend is better than you-in anything. you will normally feel so angry and jealous. i dont think anyone felt happy when their friends surpass them.

hmm..(:

think about it, when was it when you were really a good friend to your friends? remember, how you treat others, others will do the same to you.

-God bless-

sana course

2005-06-03T13:11:00.000-07:00

hahah! sana was kinda fun.. (: but the guys were damn stupid..and not to mention gay.

day one
i remembered i had to count the central's side strength. i dont know whether i counted correctly anot.. i had to take the strength from..twenty or thirty over ics. hmmm... yeah. the lectures were boring. but the shows were funny! we were split up. samantha and i went into group 10. then we had to go into groups and discuss role playing. and the guys ask samantha and i about our psle scores. i said 'why should i tell you' and one guy asked me whether i like acting cool or whatever. i just glared and rolled my eyes throughout the whole thing. and the guys kept saying scgs girls never contribute much!? bloody hell. i volunteered myself to act as the drug addict. they didnt care much. i just snapped at the bastard 'whenever we try to contribute, you guys dont even bother.' the guys just asked us to do the scripts by ourselves. waaah! cant stand them. oh yeah! they think they're damn smart or something lah. neighbourhood school people. went back to angela's house to sleepover and samantha and i talked to each other on the phone for a loong time to discuss bout the scripts. oh yeah. the 'may may' thing was really funny!

day two
the test! hahaha! and then we got into our role playing groups again. and the guys kept teasing us. i just glared at them and samantha would just reply their questions. but its no point entertaining them. freaks! and the real show, waaah.. the guys were like stupid or something lah. they didnt even know what to do. and in the show, you're suppose to stand in the center to let everyone see u. but they kept standing at the side. especially the main character. chua w x. hahaha! sam and i kept laughing at his name. oh yeah.. the bastards name is g s. HAHAHA! shallnt type the two idiots name down. but their initials. oh well.

but sana was kinda fun. thanks angela for letting me sleepover at your house. hah! and waking up at 6.20am. woo! i think being ic on both days was really fun. its like. no ncos were around. ure in charge of the platoon or something. yeah. huur.

-God bless-

wheeeeeeee~

2005-05-30T16:44:00.000-07:00

haha! went out with angela, yvonne and cherie. wanted to do our nyaa at orchard library. but in the end.. the place was pretty crowded. so we decided to..not do librarianship. and do ceremonial drill!

-.-"

took neoprints. pretty gay yet nice! hurrr.. i like the act innocent picture. hahaha! we were looking at..bikinis? at maameemoo. hahahah! i dunnoe why we were there too! then we went to see dresses? for angela's cousin wedding. hur hur. hahaha! this day is gay.. ate at yoshinoya. and we talked about alot alot of..bgr problems. haha! laughed alot about it. looked at cds. angela got all happy when she saw jj's cd. -.-" hahaha! and angela heard 'she will be loved' song. HUUUUR! cool cool!

angela left.. on the mrt with yvonne and cherie. this guy outside the train was asking us whether the train took him to yishun.. and we couldnt hear him. and the doors of the mrt closed. he called us deaf. -.-" so paiseh. haha! yvonne left, cherie and i decided to stay in bishan for..a while. hahaha! we looked at..tankinis? hahah! oh man. our lives are getting more..perversed. and we went home. (:

-God bless-

hello!!

2005-05-29T14:36:00.000-07:00

mmm..sigh. cannot be spiritual parent. i wanna be.. -.-" 'welcome to trinity family' course will be on 21st june. thats when im having the ncc camp. aargh. at. pulai.. -.-"

i cannot believe it! rachel's younger sister, cheryl said that i was mad! i just got excited because her sister's name was same as mineee. ): she said that i was mad. elissa the bobo! im sure u enjoyed yesterday's performance right! HAHAHAH! alphanso? -.-"

yaye! its the holidays. *drool* hmm.. wed, thurs. going to angela's house to sleepover. even though we're having SANA course. hah! next mon and tues..amilyn's sleepover. eat alot alot alot of ice cream. and grow fat. and fatter. and even fatter! hahahahahah! and and and. most of all, our honeymoon, eh cherie. heh heh! and and and. im excited for the. ncc camp! yayeee! haha.

i miss ncc parades. hahaha!

c.e.n.d.y

-.-"

-God bless-

hello hello

2005-05-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

just went out with my platoon. kinda fun.. amen! all the projects are done! history, science and literature! ((: alot of problems along the way. tried helping this person in her reflections, she called me stupid and that i didnt know what was the thing about and i wasnt helping her at all, and it was all my fault that she was late for her cca. and the girl didnt do anything for her science project. claiming free marks. go to hell lah.

and samantha didnt bring her form. she blamed me. -.-" someday, when all my anger is bottled up and i cant take it anymore, i will scream so loud..till the windows crack or whatever.

excuses. excuses. see that word? damn it. every single day, everybody gives excuses to why they didnt do this, or why didnt they bring that. or whatever..

* * *
was looking through my old neoprints last year. my puffy hair! and round glasses! hahahaha! oh mann...

going to the library with angela and cherie to check out whether we can do the ymca thing there. -.-" church after that! yaye! (:

lets have another platoon outing yeah..?

hahah! great time today. love you guys.

hmmm... went to see the physiotherap..how do u spell it. -.-" yeah. o.o have flat foot! ): and my left knee is going sideways or whatever. he wrapped it up. haha! the bandage on my knee was kinda cool. haha! poserr.. yes yes. and i pull a nerve in my ankle. ): but im still alive! hahaha..!

-God bless-

hahah! lazier by the minute

2005-05-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. sigh. suppose to come online to print out the stupid newater stuff. -.-" i realized.. I STOPPED EXERCISING ALREADY! nooo! hahaha -.-" anyway.

so tired.. sometimes, i feel like screaminggg at my group members. aargh..

stop judging me if you dont know me.

stop thinking i love you when i dont

haha. these sentences sound so...crude. dont know whyy.. but feel so tired! FINALLY! im going back to school! didnt have any real lessons for yesterday and today. dont know why. but i miss singing the school song. hahahahahahahahahah!

i know this entry is stupid. but im bored

-God bless-

so irritated

2005-05-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

went for the PTD thing. seems like single science is my future. damn! haha! at least there werent any bad comments. unlike last year.. -.-" had maths remedial after that. only half the class turned up lah. i dun really understand. but i understand the soh,cah,toa? HAHAHA! sound so gay.

went to georgina's house. watched 'mean girls' 'raise your voice' and a little of 'hide and seek'. laughed alot. dont know why. been so irritated so lately. with some pple. all they think is bout themselves and their studies. keep asking you the same questions.

schools ending. happy or sad? happy that i dun have to see familar GRUMPY FACES again. sad that.. NO MORE PARADES!!!!!! argh..

C.E.N.D.Y

oh man!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! i think N.D.Y are really cool! C AND E are just like.. okayy lah. HAHAHAHA! N talked to meee.. okok..

history project screwed. newater thing SCREWED. studies? even worse.

-God bless-

stupid me.

2005-05-24T20:56:00.000-07:00

2pr has gone crazy after denise went out of country. noisy class. wrong uniform. etc. yeaah. oh man.. cant stand her... so sluttish. i mean. STOP LIFTING UP YOUR SKIRT TO SHOW YOUR LEGS TO THE GUYS PLEASE?

the sports complex party. really wanna go. yirui, yingxin and elissa said it might crack if we all went up there and dance. HAHAHA! imagine if the whole thing fall down.

went to the dentist with jazreel and jia en. even though i dun wear braces. hahaha. -.-" after that, i went to the gym with jazreel! whoaaaa. it wasnt that tiring. it has been a long time since i stepped into the gym. 1 year? hmmm... my ankle hurts now.

how could i be so stupidd..i mean, why didnt i hand up the consent forms just bcos 3 pple in the platoon didnt hand in... argh! what a stupid IC i am.

pet rocket science thing! huifang was my partnerrrr. heh heh! our thing was like TOTALLY GOOD LAH! we scored 3 out of 3... *drool* cool darling! XD

this week is like mad or something. calling so many pple. class people. platoon mates. master yimtong.

-God bless-

never stop trying..can i do it?

2005-05-20T20:33:00.000-07:00

after the conversation with master yimtong, i told myself i will try my best and all. today's armsdrill jus sucked so badly.. i dunnoe what to say about myself. i seem so... argh. even my timing sucked. after the test, we had to knock it down and pump 50 mens. talking about forgetting to bring stuff, i felt so stupid! STUPID! HOW COULD I FORGET TO BRING MY HAIRNET. during the pumping thing, i felt so.. weak. couldnt even support myself. even though i tried supporting susannah, i know i didnt help much.

after everything, went to mac's with abigail and susannah. they were talking about napfa and studies. napfa, abigail had full marks and got gold. susannah got gold. what did i get? SILVER? i told myself never to think about it anymore. but its like, i feel so... sigh. about studies.. i feel so.. stupid. i really dont want to go to single science, but it seems like i have to go there. am i going to be the OUTCAST OF THE PLATOON?

everytime, my parents are never concerned about me, always blaming me. never asking me about my life. never asking me how am i coping. always concerned about my sister or brother instead. yes, i am jealous of them. i seem so.. i dont know

today, 1st sg alethea asked cherie to sit beside her. I WAS SO DISGUSTED. history is repeating itself. in our part As time, it was like there. now its going to be like that.

nowadays, i keep saying the f word.. i used to tell me not to say it. now im like frequently using it. maybe because my close friends keep using it. i feel so disgusted with myself.

am i going to maintain my smile? enthusiastic. no one ever said 'enthusiastic AND GOOD' about me. one word to describe cheryl 'enthusiastic' i feel like casting out this word. stupid word.

SO WHAT IF I AM ENTHUSIASTIC? IS THAT GOING TO BRING ME FAR?

sometimes, i think. whatever for come for practices or parades, i never improve myself. i dont see myself improving in those tests. ifc, arms drills and turnout.

tried improving my uniform. what happened? BROWN WATER CAME OUT OF THE IRON STEAM THING.

i need someone to pull me up whenever i fall... but it always seem like no one is there.

-God bless-

low self esteem

2005-05-14T20:06:00.000-07:00

hey! had a great time at church! the praise songs are so cool! THIS IS HOW WE OVERCOME! haha! love that song! lorain? how do u spell her name? SHES SO CUTEEE... *drool* shes damn nice! at first i was scared of her. cos she jus suddenly pop out of nowhere and say hi to me. but now i think shes damn cute! when she was like turning around, she was going to trip on the wire! HAHA! shes so cutee and nice! and that rachel kept insulting ncc. i got quite pissed. lucky i didnt shout at her. or it would be so embarrassing. oh well! ncc is so much better than other ccas k! =DD

yeah.. need to get a green polo tee for usher. haha! my uniform. green polo tee and jeans! GREEN! YEAH MAN! hahah =P

baked cookies today. had an idea. like, during june holidays, we can ask the part b NCOs to go out with us. then we bake something for them. heh heh. sort of like a pinic. i dunnoe =D it will been so fun! haha!

these days have been so tired, angry and all. HAHA! luckily i managed to laugh my head off and smile all the way. woo!

You are the way the truth and the life. We live by faith and not by sight. ((:

-God bless-

ifc test is oveeeer

2005-05-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

yaye! ifc test is finally oveeeer. heh heh heh! how cool! only have armsdrill test and all~ woot

kinda excited for the MALAYSIA TRIP THING! YEAH! hahahah! riiight.. can u believe it?! SCHOOL HOLIDAYS ARE COMING SOON. OH MAN! hahahah!!!

nothing much to blog. jus that i cant stand the part As. some are posers. some are jus... dun give us any respect. think they're so great. -.-" i mean, shouldnt they know the meaning of respect by now? hmm..

i think maam leong's pt wasnt that tough as i thought it would be. but the running was tough. haha! anyway! LAUGHING IS GREAT! HAHAHAH! -.-

HAHAHAHAH!

-God bless-

BOO!

2005-05-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

hahha! jus came back from mac's wif tasmana. yeah. talked to her bout some stuff. how she thought that my confidence is really bad. i dunnoe lah. i mean, even how much i train myself, some people will still be better than me. like shooting. my ribcage and backbone hurt so badly. i can hardly even breathe. if i get the marksmanship[sp?] i will scream my head off. but thats impossible. i didnt even pass a single test. argh. feel so lousy. and if i actually get to be STAFF, i will be the happiest girl in the universe. but thats like SO HARD. i mean, look at this. SO MANY PEOPLE ARE BETTER THAN ME. arghhhhh... o.o

gonna die. master yimtong seemed really sad today. dunnoe why. dun even think i saw her smile today. HMMM... the 100m thing is really sooo hard. aaah!

-God bless-

test tubes

2005-04-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

cell was kinda fun. and messy. we needed to do 2 test tubes. u noe those with the gel and the alphabets in it. yeah~ did one for zhiying [her birthday] and master yimtong. ann did for mayee and 1st sg alethea. wee~ really hope they like the test tube thing. i was panicking like HEAVEN when the master yimtong's name was a little DESTROYED! i hope she can tell its her name. elissa did zhiying and ESTHER! HAHAHAHAH! ESTHER YONG YI RUI~

church was fun too! straight talk with pastor derrick. yeah~ hahah. i think hes really funny. sycamore tree. o.o

but its amazing how Jesus can change Zacchaeus life. hmmm..

THERE'S NO SCHOOL ON MONDAY! going to the gym with elissa, jazreel and..ESTHER YONG YI RUI~ hopefully we can go out after that.

-God bless-

hatred and anger

2005-04-29T20:36:00.000-07:00

Last week, the incident on the Diana and Fiona happened. This week happened another incident, it’s the Cindy and Constance [fake names] incident happened. I feel as if my life is some kind of drama serial that never seem to end.

April seems to be my worst month. Missed gold for NAPFA by 2 cm. I tried jumping like more than 40 over times. But I still didn’t get 160cm for standing broad jump. Everything for my NAPFA was mostly As. But when it came to standing broad jump, it jus became a D. Everyone told me I tried my best and I could retake in august. I guess so.

And now its like the cindy and constance incident happened. I don’t know why constance betrayed me. I asked God why why why must this happen to me. On the first day, when constance told cindy the truth. It seemed to me as if I was thrown onto the floor and have been stepped on. I tried not to hate constance, I asked God how to handle it. God showed me a verse about loving your enemies and if someone slaps you on the right, turn to the other, something like that. Every single day, I would just break down and cry. Sometimes I ask myself why am I so weak. Why cant I even control my tears and emotions? I tried talking to Cindy, but she said she was busy and asked me to talk to her later. During PE, elissa told me that cindy was angry at her for picking my group to play volleyball. I jus gave up all hope to actually try to get back this friendship that had been broken. My friend told me to gave her the same treatment. If she treated you coldly, just treat her the same. If she glares at you, glare back at her. When Mrs. Lee told me that we both were changing places, I knew our friendship would end there and there would be no more chances of reclaiming back this friendship.

Maybe to Cindy, it seemed as if I didn’t try at all to talk to her and stuff. But, I don’t know. If we could actually be friends and say HELLO to each other. That would be the greatest miracle. If I actually manage to forgive constance for hurting me, that would be a miracle too.

To Cindy: if you’re willing to try to actually reclaiming back this friendship. I really would be very happy. But I don’t know whether you know the whole picture. Whenever I try to talk to you, you would give me the same excuse. “I’m busy, can you talk to me later?” Maybe you don’t even think we’re friends at all. So what’s the point of trying? Whatever it is, thank you for the memories you have given me.

To Constance: maybe you had your reasons for telling cindy. But why? Have I been such a bad friend that you would want to hurt me so badly? Maybe I have. I apologise if I did anything to hurt you. It takes time to forgive. It takes a even longer time to forget.

-God bless-

miserable me

2005-04-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

have been really sad about that particular problem. yvonne, tasmana, georgina and stacey should know. most of my close friends should know. yeah. i keep thinking about it every single day. today, i tried calling fiona [fake name] for the first time. she told me she had to go in 2 minutes and hung up. probably to call diana [fake name of the person that i dislike last time.] i was so close to fiona. so close. typing it down jus makes me wanna break down. maybe fiona doesnt know it. but.. it hurts me so much. but thanks for my friends and some of the platoon mates help, im not that sad anymore. i should stop thinking about it. i mean if fiona rather be close friend with diana and not talk to me anymore. even though i was fiona's close friend for really long. all the long talks and friendship is just gone. at first, i admit. i was jealous and hated diana even more than ever. at first, i already hated diana to the core. then, it became worse. but now i realize that, its no point hating her. i mean, maybe she has her reasons. maybe God just wans me to let go of fiona. maybe God is telling me not to rely on her anymore. i dont know.

i realized, i have great friends and platoon mates that support me all the way. and a great partner that wanna quit being a class rep. i have to build my self-esteem man. georgina and tasmana told me to build up my self-esteem. that im quite good just that i think that i cant do it then i give up. is it true?

tasmana told me that its because of the part a life we led, thats why some of us keep thinking we're bad. because the part A ncos only concentrated on that particular person and some other better ones. i realized, its true. but the part b ncos are training us up in every single area and stuff like that. they're not bias. i realized. maybe sometimes they are, but hardly.

i remember, before that problem, i always smiled and stuff. but when that problem came, i had to force a smile or its either not really natural. im trying to be my crazy self again. but lately, ive been so tired, so stressed, so irritated.. so feel like giving up.

today's parade was something special. we had to run every 3 levels to find for the biscuits. my group was the first. first to suffer too. we hold it there for quite long. i decided just to give up holding in pumping position. yvonne kept encouraging me. staff edith went to hold my leg in the end. today, i realized, whats the point of giving up, whats the point of faking a smile. why dont i just forget about the problem. face reality. and be my crazy self again. today was kinda tiring too! bout 80-100 push ups each and sit ups. yeah.

im gonna lead a better life.

-God bless-

spiritual parent or celebration host?

2005-04-16T22:47:00.000-07:00

went to church and had cell. elissa was panicking when she couldnt remember 1 timothy 4:12. that verse speaks alot. "let no one despise your youth. but be an example to the believers. in word, in conduct, in love, in faith, in spirit and in purity.' not sure if i got it right. cos this is wat i memorise. hmm.. we were talking bout leaders. the person asked us who wanted to be a leader. i raised up my hand so did alot of other people. this surprised me.. i always thought youths like us always love going with the flow.

talked to sister stella. said bout the spiritual parent thing. i really wanna join a ministry in trinity. not sure if i wanna be a spiritual parent or celebration host. i rather be a spiritual parent though.

was looking through my platoon pictures on shutterfly. i saw the pictures again. the picture i noticed most was the practice photos. we didnt have any practice for months already. really miss it. really saddens me when we dont really do much things together.

last year, our platoonmates only hated one person. HAHAH! obvious who right? i think that person indirectly built our unity. cos we were all going against her. now its like, we all hate each other.

im becoming lazier! aah~ im really worried for my marks. im like doing badly in my subjects. really scared if i go single science. but i did think bout it. not sure if single science suits me. makes me feel so useless. im so distracted everyday. i try to sit down and go through notes. but i tend to fall asleep! really admire people who study till 2am. thats like really amazing if u can stay awake for so long. cos i cant. i will immediately sleep when its 11.30pm. the only time i nv really sleep was ncc annual camps. hahaha.

this post is getting so freaking long. oh well. i think i better go off.

-God bless-

hello people

2005-04-15T19:54:00.000-07:00

heys. i sprained my ankle on the way. tasmana tried to kiss me! o.o i fell sideways and sprained it. damn pain.

today's parade was really slack. except for the running part. we had this talk with the ncos. yeah~ MAAM KAIQIAN CAME! stupid samantha wanted to hug maam kaiqian more than me.

EEYER~ talk to maam amanda till 7pm!! sigh. wanted to hug master yimtong. angela said it would be weird. yvonne asked me to if i wanted. she left. so i didnt hug her in the end.

cherie crushed the airplane i liked so much lah. after that, she just said 'i dun care.' i was like staring at her... sheesh. she smashed my easter eggs chocolates last time too. whatever.

-God bless-

darn it

2005-04-08T19:58:00.000-07:00

had pe yesterday! i was really trying my best to pass my standing broad jump. ms lee and my friends were helping me. i jus cant seem to get the passing mark. so i kept doing standing broad jump and shuttle run. ms lee asked me to rest but i didnt. so... as a result... today. my legs were so pain. i cant seem to walk properly. and the worse was, I HAD NCC!!!

hahaha! i cant even seida properly or like stamp. okay... i cant even sit down in peace. SURPRISINGLY, I RAN 9 ROUNDS! hahahahaha!! thanks platoon mates!

went to mac's with abigail. we really talked a lot.. cliques. sigh.

sometimes, we do things for others. but the others dont seem to care. so we might jus say "whats the point of doing things for others when they dont care" im sure someday, the others will know. and... MIGHT repay your kindness.

okayyy... im jus really tired. and i need to get a gold for napfa. I HAVE TO! primary school, i could not even get a bronze. so embarrassing. sec 1, i got SILVER! so freaking happy. this year. I MUST GET GOLD!

my legs r really pain now. sigh.

-God bless0

sports day

2005-04-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

i felt really really happy when ncc started marching. i was about to burst out laughing. yeah. but it was like reaally fun lah! then we had to do our duties. ncc got 3rd! yaye! haha! after that, we went for platoon lunch at toa payoh. samantha and susannah didnt come. then ann left. then we went far east to take neoprints. then stacey left. OH OH OH! WE SAW MASTER YIMTONG! HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR. we went to heeren to buy maam yenling's present. i think its very cute! turtles. woot. lol. CINE LEISURE! bought tickets for spanglish. but georgina couldnt come. ): THEN THEN THEN, WE SAW MASTER YIMTONG AT KBOX AGAIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! =P spanglish is a very very nice show. (: everyone was laughing when i cried during the show. HEY! the show was sad k... hahahah!

i had a very bad headache. started puking. then i started crying. then i puked even more. -.-" so gay. my head still hurts.

anyway. NCC ALL THE WAY!

-God bless-

irritated wif myself

2005-03-31T20:51:00.000-08:00

okayy.. it begin wif. when i was standing on corporal yimkuan's place for company drill. but master asked me to stand there. cos i was wondering where was corporal gonna stand? then i was irritated wif her and stuff. then i came back home. REALLY WORRIED THAT I WONT MARCH. cos last yr, i didnt march in any events at all. i was REALLY sad. so susannah went to call master. and master seems irritated wif me..

OKAYY! im so damn STUPID! *bangs head on wall* im like stressed right now. today, i was playing basketball wif yvonne. and i told yvonne "mayb i shld have chosen basketball as my cca instead of NCC." she jus stared at me.

im like freaking LOUSY in NCC. my marching, my attitude, my EVERYTHING LAH! jus doesnt qualify for me to stay in NCC.

im so irritated wif myself. why cant i jus be GOOD in something?! even though how much i try in NCC, it still seems as if im the worst.

i know. no one is perfect. but the problem is...everyone is good at something. wat am i good at? i asked myself a million times. the answer is always NOTHING.

ncc ncc all the way. i dun wish to quit. of cos i wouldnt wan. but im jus like..argh. forget it. i jus hope i wont break down during sports day.

-God bless-

tired tired tired

2005-03-29T18:24:00.000-08:00

hais. jus came home. hmmm. had chinese and literature tests. oh man! so tired and tired. 2 HARD TESTS! ): anyway. yeah. had company drills. it was not bad. (: encik said it was the nicest marching out of all the pracs! hee hee! =P yeah. then after that, i ran 7 rounds! maam kaiqian's name. hahaha! gonna run KAM tmr. then run master's name! heeeeeeeeeeh. heh heh heh heh! so ive to run 13 rounds in total! maam kam kaiqian. master low yimtong. so happy ive ran 7 rounds already!

HEH!

-God bless-

aaah.. so tired

2005-03-28T17:59:00.000-08:00

heys. haha! so tired. but im proud that ive never missed one ncc practice! =P anyway! master talked about going to the NDP to march. at first, i was excited. after toking to abi, i felt as if NDP was some sort of busy thing. and she said that we've to go for the previews and all. so its like 14-16 practices plus previews! AAH~ hahah! -.-

then im not sure if on the day itself, when i march. would i be crying? cos it would the day after my ncos ROD. ):

-God bless-

Jesus will be here for us till the end of the world

2005-03-26T19:43:00.000-08:00

went church today. haha! i think mcwings r cool! haha! so are mcnuggets! -.-" HAHAHA! im high. anyway. i dunnoe wats the pastor's name. but she was very scary! she described how the whip pulled out the veins out of Jesus's back and all! and how the crown of thorns went into his scalp. and and how they push in the nails to Jesus's wrists. OKAY! I WONT TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE!

im so freaking scared. waaah~ hahaha! nothing we do could repay Jesus's love for us. yet, some of us turn against Jesus and become santanic. why is this so? HMMM! hahah!

yups. i think we take things for granted. tut tut.

-God bless-

heys

2005-03-25T20:32:00.000-08:00

went to church! wooo! haha! it was damn sad! they showed us how the soldiers whipped Jesus and how they abuse Jesus. and Jesus still cared for the men even though they wanted to crucify him. wat a loving soul. not many of us could do it. no...NO ONE COULD DO IT! wat if all singaporeans wanted u dead, yet u can still ask God to forgive the singaporeans. u couldnt do it right? if i were Jesus, i would b cursing them. like y shld i b doing this for u guys when u wan me dead? =P nowonder Jesus asks us to love our enemies. all the troubles we were going through were nothing! wat doesnt kill u will only make u stronger!

hahh! went out wif maam amanda to eat at mac's wif my sister, my sister's frens and ann. yeah. it was pretty fun.

argh. okay.. i jus have to calm down. argh!

if someone slaps u on your right side, turn to the left side and allow the person to slap u again.

forgive and forget,

forgive is something easy. forgetting is something hard.

how can i love my enemies?

its jus impossible.

blah.

i should jus let God handle it.

-God bless-

sadness and madness

2005-03-25T12:27:00.000-08:00

i cried yesterday. i stared at our ex-ncos picture. i was thinking of my platoon. i was thinking of the conflicts in my platoon as well.

mmm... i love 2pr. ive a lot of great frens to back me up. (:

hahah! mayee said she got shocked last time when master yimtong asked us bout our classes. then i asked georgi and yvonne to shout 2pr. but in the end, i was the only one that shouted it. then i got so malu. haha! but i think 2pr is great! whee! great teachers and classmates. (:

hahah! then chinese talentime, although we didnt get in, i thot that the dancesteps were so cute! haha! i remember celene, lauren, me and huifang were the guys. chasing after beatrice and emily! HAHAHA! chinese talentime was fun! heh heh!

although my class banner and cheer got sixth. im still very happy! at least we tried! =DD

hmms. lets tok bout my platoon. =P aaah~ i really wish we could eat together and do our drills together again.

P.S: hus dryrain?

-God bless-

NCC NCC NCC NCC NCC NCC NCC

2005-03-24T18:26:00.000-08:00

23/3/05 (wednesday)

had OM! aarghs. it was terrible. but i think the ferris wheel part was so funny! it was like sylvia and i went to the back of the board. and sylvia sticked her fingers in to pretend as the pple, then suddenly, I GOT HIGH! and laughed LIKE HELL! then all of my group members WERE HIGH TOO! even amilyn, hu was changing in her witch costume laughed! HAHA! then there was a silence. then all started laughing! HAHAHAH! i used to hate my OM group. but i LOVE them now! whee! sorry for flaring up at u guys. it was jus terrible. SORRY! PLS ACCEPT MY APOLOGISES! *begs* hahah! after that, i ran down wif georgi and yvonne for company drills. then i was supposedly timer. but 5 secs after marching, susannah suddenly timed. then master asked her to b timer. i got quite depressed. then even worse, master and 1sg alethea told me i was lagging. and dunnoe y my stomach hurt, my neck was sprained and my left arm was like...DISLOCATED! whenever i lift it up, theres a CRACK?! terrible. yesterday was jus.. crap. yeps. then abi told me that some pple in our platoon cannot march. I WANNA MARCH! I HAVE TO MARCH ON SPORTS DAY! AAAAAAAAAAH~

24/3/05

whee! i love today! we were in the track, shouting the ncc cheer!

WE..
COME FROM A COMPANY
FAMOUS IN NCC
COME FROM A FAMOUS SPECIAL COMPANY
WE FIGHT FOR GLORY
WE FIGHT FOR VICTORY
WE FIGHT WITH SPIRIT NEVER KNOWN BEFORE
SC-GS ALL THE WAY
WE LIKE IT HERE
WE LIKE IT THERE
WE FOUND OURSELVES A HOME, A HOME, A HOME SWEET HOME
BANG!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! =D

i love ncc! hahahah!

-God bless-

company drill

2005-03-22T19:30:00.000-08:00

aah! company drill is so tiring. at first it got damn depressing for me. cos master suddenly changed the timer to susannah. then i dunnoe wat happened. i kept doing wrong stuff and my marching was TERRIBLE! and i was damn damn damn depressed. and my left arm is like DISLOCATED! AAAAAAAAAAAAh~ it make crack sounds when i lift it up. SO DAMN SCARY LAH! aaargh.

ncc ncc ncc ncc ncc! woooooooooo! hahh! =P im still in love with ncc. company drills and parades! WEE! haha! but i hate sports day! ARGH!

HAHAHA! stupid elissa, jazreel and yirui kept staring at the ncc pple. LAUGHING! hahaha! i went to teach jazreel how to march! jazreel shall call me...SHI FU! =P

HAHAH! im so lame -.-"

-God bless-

amilyn!

2005-03-20T22:16:00.000-08:00

met at school bus stop at 10am. i was so freaking tired. on the bus, the bus went forward and jerked, i jumped up of the seat and nearly banged my head. jolyn kept laughing. hahahah! thinking of it now, it was quite funny. yeeep! then georgina, jolyn, amilyn and i went to buy some food. bought chocolate fudge brownie and phish food ben's and jerry's ice cream. haha! went to amilyn's house and ate the ice cream! whee! we disturbed yvonne by calling her handphone and talking to her. hahaa. i think amilyn's sister, adelyn is very pretty and nice! =DD yeps

we talked alot, and didnt even do anything for OM. so we went to macs to eat lunch, jolyn and georgi left. amilyn brought me back to her house. she went for tuition and i stayed at her house. i ate ALOT! hahah! i ate finish the tub of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream! =P haha! can u imagine!? and read magazines. adelyn came back home and we talked. hmm! hahaha! yeah, amilyn came back and we left to see courts. and we went to novena square to look for bags. then we went to amilyn's parent's restaurant. she did her lit essay there. i did my chinese report there. we ate! OH MAAN! i love that sharkfins soup! hahah! =DD too bad there wasnt any xiao long bao! damn! hahaha! =P yep and we left to see more bags. wanted to buy this bag.. but amilyn advised me not to. okay then. I HAD BLADDER PROBLEMS! i went toilet 3 times. amilyn got a little irritated wif my bladder. heh! sorry. =P then we went to united square. wanted to buy this edc shirt! 50% OFF! AAH! its like 10 dollars only! AAAH! hahahahahaha! but they didnt have medium size. oh well. hah! amilyn and i love that sunkiss island shirt. wee! took bus home. oh maan! 1/2 the bus were filled with indians! i nearly died. haha! sorry. im racist. REALLY LAH! IT WAS DAAAMN BAD! hahaha! thanks amilyn!

-God bless-

woooooooot

2005-03-19T19:18:00.000-08:00

lol! hello! (: went church wif elissa. and she cut her haaaair! LIKE A BOY! HAHAHAHA! and she got contacts but she felt uncomfortable wif her...left or right eye? HAHAH! dunnoe. anyway! she told me stuff bout the ELF!? lol! and she finds the guy singer cute EEEH!! hahahahahaha!!! =P

and i dun owe u 10 cents! I PAID U 10 CENTS BEFORE ALREADY!? he was jus wearing the same shirt...........-.-"

HAHAHAHA!!

yeps. there was one part which was very touching. when everyone had to cry out 'i wanna be with you, God.' *sob sob* so touching! haha!

i love trinity! =DD

ELISSA THE VANESS! =P

-God bless-

weeeeeeeee

2005-03-18T20:59:00.000-08:00

had a great day today! =DD thanks glor! went to gloria's house and ate 2 half tubs of ice cream. haha! feel fat now! anyway. i love haagen daz[sp?] cookie cream dough(smth like that) and chocoalte ice cream! *drool* haha! after that, we wanted to watch spongebob squarepants movie at lido. but we decided to walk around to buy some stuff. im frightened of gloria's mom. -.-" gloria said im the first person hu is scared of her. haha! i guess im weird. anyway. i bought a white skirt and pink belt! haha! thanks gloria! =DD i really enjoyed myself.

came home. REPRINT my ncos reports. and i think i sort of irritated corporal yimkuan, cos i was too blur. haha! blur cheryl. hmm..

next week is gonna b a busy week. especially wif company drills. aaah! hahahah! =DD never mind. i love NCC. haha! beginning to feel more and more enthu when it comes to all the NCC stuff. although everyone isnt looking forward to parades and company drills...I AM!!! hahaha!!

NCC ALL THE WAY! wee =DD

-God bless-

today was sucha lucky day!

2005-03-16T16:25:00.000-08:00

i finally toked to maam kaiqian online! though it was only for like...3 mins? yaye! so satisfied! =DD happy happy! i finished annual camp report, adventure camp report and lit essay! i dun feel that stressed! hahaha! hmm.. i dunnoe y i keep sleeping a lot these days. -.-" its like i take afternoon naps too!? and i dun exercise anymore. -.-" hmm.. wat to do. lala. shld i ask abi to run wif me at the bishan park? =D haha! or ask the whole platoon to run at malcom park? lol. im getting fatter! oooh! haha!!

-God bless-

i miss her so much

2005-03-15T21:47:00.000-08:00

i realized i missed maam kaiqian alot. havent seen her for a long time. especially when i was dying to see her on co night but she didnt appear. i cried a little today. but even if i cry, its not as if shes gonna appear in front of me or something.

the sides of my stomach hurts like hell. is that called ribcage? lol. it has been hurting since yesterday during technical handling. and my back hurts too. my ankle isnt that bad anymore.

i finished my annual camp essay! 884 words. heh heh heh! =P

after 6 months, my life will change again. on august. the ncos will then leave us again. thinking bout that. hmm.. will i keep in touch wif master yimtong? will i see her?

-.-" so many essays to do. i wouldnt mind another ncc camp in school again.

..sigh..y love a person so much when they dont realize. y love a person so much when they dont appreciate u. y love a person so much when one day, they're bound to leave u?

memories will fade. the person will eventually leave u. maam kaiqian and master yimtong. do they noe? do they realize?

-God bless-

annual camp and techical handling

2005-03-14T19:19:00.000-08:00

hello! yaye! i cant believe annual camp 2005 is over! WAHAHA! i would say its slack. but i wont now cos we had to help the part As in everything. kept encouraging them. now i noe how it is like to b seniors. but there's a sense of joy when they call u lance corporals. *grins* haha!! oh ya! gggg! GeorGina Gay Grin. =P hahaha!! alpha. i wanted to b in bravo! but nvm! i loved bravo 2004. and i heard that maam kaiqian was in bravo for 4 years!!! haha!! i think we've all grown physically weaker. dunnoe y. -.-" i think fire drill whistle is REALLY scary. i dunnoe y. when i heard the whistle i nearly died of heart attack. its so...AAAH!! maam kaiqian didnt come 4 co night. at first i wanted to faint. cos i endured so much partly bcos of her. i thot i would see her and all. but when i didnt. whoa! im proud of the corporals, PART BS and part As!

today had technical handling. so stressed. cherie used the pantie liner to wipe her hand and mouth cos we had no tissue. poor thing. and yvonne, abigail, angela, cherie and i wanted to treat the part b ncos for ice cream. but master yimtong paid us back. [i will forever keep that 1 dollar coin!] hahahah!!! yeah. and we went to thomson plaza to eat.

i dunnoe y. but i love annual camps. i feel this sense of achievement! =DD

-God bless-

wat the wat lah!

2005-03-07T18:03:00.000-08:00

i cant believe the ncos!! RAWR! its like they didnt tell the part As ANYTHING!? and expect the part Bs to help them in everything. abigail said that we've to polish their boots and starch their uniform for 8 cadets?! and buy starch, socks, kiwi, EVERYTHING FOR THEM! when this whole week is already screwed up lah. jfopjgporjgrej!!! wat the wat!!! at least last yr's ncos went wif us to beach road. OGJPOFJHPOERJOPHJ!!

-God bless-

die Die DIE DIEEEEEEEEEE

2005-03-06T18:17:00.000-08:00

AAAH! *stressed* jus heard that mayee polished her boots. i nearly fainted. i havent even started! waaaah!!! 2 uniforms and boots that need to be handed up on thursday! chi talentime on tues?! AND WE HAVENT STARTED! wat's this man! mon, stay back for sec 3 briefing and annual camp briefing. tues, chinese talentime. my class is so gonna screw this lah! we havent started?! and im dancing. o.o oh noo!!! wed, stay back for some chinese stuff? thurs, HAND IN UNIFORM!!! friday.......ANNUAL CAMP?! *runs around in circles, screaming* THIS IS THE WORSE WEEK MAN! how am i gonna find time to do my uniform?! WAAAH!!! okok. God will help me. o.o

toked to angela bout sec 3. which subjects to take. i feel damn dumb right now. im not even good at anything!? science? no. chinese? IM STARTING TO FAIL!? english? JUS PASS! geog? LOUSY! literature? NOOO! history? dun tok bout it. math? DUN SAY ANYTHING!!! die die die. i dun wanna go to 3co next yr man. die. im dying!?

how to handle stress. GOD NOES HOW. -.-"

-God bless-

church

2005-03-05T20:53:00.000-08:00

went church. elissa couldnt come bcos she was sick. get well ya? anyway... church was okay lah. jus that this boy in front of me. kept sucking his thumb and using his thumb to rub his teeth. AFTER THAT, he will touch his fren's stuff. i was like o.o ann was disgusted too. hahaa. mmm... did this faith promise thing. had to tithe and all on this card. yaye. haha!

-God bless-

adventure camp

2005-03-04T19:54:00.000-08:00

day 1

it was raining so badly. we couldnt do flying fox,abseiling and high ropes. we did nitro crossing and rock climbing. went home. waha. BORING CAMP RIGHT?!

day 2

urban challenge. ran around the whole singapore with our camping bags! SUPER FUN! though it was heavy. we got 505 points! highest in the whole sec 2!

day 3

we did dragon boating. damn fun! though wright(my group) was splited into 2 groups. nas(my trainer) was stressed cos we all were arguing not to split our group up. we bathed at national stadium. big mess. lol. came back to school. prize giving was very weird. there was only one prize. which was the group that wasnt enthu on the first day, every trainer kept complaining bout that group. but day 3, that particular group bcame really enthu and independent! IT WAS OUR GROUP!! everyone left. except for wright and morita (2pr groups) morita sang 'i cant smile without u' i started crying. everyone was damn shocked that i was crying. huifang cried next. sarah's face was red. after photo taking for wright. nas suddenly hugged me and asked me not to cry.

summary

adventure camp seemed boring. on the 2nd half day. I WAS DYING TO GO HOME! but we had to sleep over at the camp site. dirty toilets, little bathing time and hard beds. but now. i feel like returning back to camp. SCGS OUI!!! OUI!!! I LOVE NAS! shes the best trainer ive ever got! =D

-God bless-

wahahaha

2005-02-28T19:00:00.000-08:00

went out wif gloria today! wee! i bought collision course and the 1 album! hahaha! =P i oso bought jolyn's present! wee! haha! gloria went on a shopping madness! lol! she kept buying green stuff. my happy day! :)

-God bless-

mmm...

2005-02-25T20:21:00.000-08:00

hmm! i was late for ncc. mrs choo is a really good teacher. even though she can b mean at times. -.-" haha! my ankle hurts. maam amanda asked some of us whether we regretted joining ncc. hmm... mayb i do... all the drills get me so tired. when i see red cross doing their drills. so damn impressive lah. how bout ncc. o.o hmm.. people always tell me its ncc thats best in marching. now.. i dun think so. haha! mayb smth will pull me through ncc. mayb an angel will come and rescue me from the ncc nightmare. =P i wonder where my enthusiaism went to. sigh ):

-God bless-

blogskins

2005-02-24T21:29:00.000-08:00

jus change my blogskin. comments ya? i still cant change the stupid cheryl thiang thing down there. lol. is the gingerbread 1 nicer or this... hah! hmm... cos mayee and joella couldnt see my blog. so i thot i jus change my blogskin and better it would be better? haha! anyway. hmm... this blogskin is very plain. haha. but i like the words. (: anyway.

-God bless-

lala land

2005-02-19T21:13:00.000-08:00

sigh. sometimes i think im the weakest in ncc. sometimes i think im the person that shld really get out of ncc. maam kaiqian told me NEVER to quit ncc. sigh. i think ncc is the best cca. it really makes u bond wif the seniors. unlike other ccas. yesterday, i was the ic for the sec 2 platoon. oh man... i had sprained ankle. and did my job really badly. aaah~ im not a good ic. i feel so damn weak.

today i went to church. before that, i went to buy yvonne's welcome back present. haha! i hope she likes it. anyway. elissa is so funny. haha! went to trinity's manna bookstore. saw this girl toking to this guy. then he made her pissed and made her cry. bloody asshole. whoever(a guy) makes a girl cry is one big fat loser. anyway. i dunnoe that girl. so i cant comfort her. went on wif my life. hah! hmm... elissa kept insulting the pastor hu was preaching today. lol. but he's really a big-head. he keeps toking bout how good he is. like he was the best soldier. he played table tennis REALLY well. lol. tok bout building ur self-esteem, man. that guy got enuff self-esteem.

-God bless-

eating disorder

2005-02-15T18:25:00.000-08:00

jus read a book on eating disorder. got so freaked out. especially by how people stick their fingers in their throat and make themselves puke. *shivers* honestly, its a joy to eat! (: i love eating. all my frens noe i love food. haha!

kenan and kel rocks! EH, ELISSA?! hah! elissa, u get the hint. (:

pray for mrs lee's sons. poor thing. they're in the hospital.

guess wat. WAT! im IC for the week! im so excited! IC FOR THE WEEK! haha! if u dunnoe wat's IC, its like in charge of the platoon. WAHA! so excited. haha! i really think its a joy being IC! so exciting. HAHA! =P excited cheryl. -.-"

-God bless-

happy valentine's day!

2005-02-14T16:28:00.000-08:00

hahah! heys! happy valentine's day! today was such a great day! haha! thanks for the flowers and chocolates dude(: so touched so touched. HAHA! i really didnt expect emily and yirui to give me anything! haha! but i really love their presents! FLOWERS! haha! thanks mayee for the LOVE LETTER! haha!! thanks joella for the platoonmate letter! (: thanks cherie for the LOVE LETTER! thanks emily for the flower letter and flowers! thanks yirui for the flower and cookie! thanks amilyn for ur chocolates, skittles and letter! thanks elissa for ur cookie. though it tasted burnt. but its nice lah (: thanks jazreel for ur ALOT of sweets and chocolates. thanks jolyn for ur heart shape letter. aaw. haha. thanks joanne tham for ur lollipop. AND ANGELA! for ur cute little bottle filled with hearts. I KNEW U LOVE ME, ANGELA! =P thanks pple! =DD anyway! great valentine's day! (:

valentine's outing

2005-02-12T13:18:00.000-08:00

yo! haha! i really wanna thank amelia for making me laugh like hell yesterday! i oso wanna thank jazreel for tolerating amelia and i! we laughed so much. so lucky jazreel didnt blow up. HAH! but yesterday was sooo funny! we laughed at nothing! i still can remember last yr's valentine! HAHA! i nearly killed amelia! cos we were laughing so much, i pushed her down. HAHAH! but lucky i pulled her back up in time. HAHAHA! but i still cant believe i bought that snickers fun pack thingy for 8.90 at the cocoa tree. when the supermarket sold it for 4.40! ): HAHAH! but nvm. i still can laugh at it. HAHAH!!! so damn funny! im surprised ive nv been to great world city. haha! but yesterday i went there for the 1st time! HAHA! amelia and i were laughing at...WAT AH?! hahah!!! I CANT REMEMBER! =P the sky ceiling. LOL! hahah!!! HAHAHA! kk lah. later u guys probably think im some mad laughing freak! HAHAH!!! =P

i still cant believe i kissed cherie's cheek. -.-" HAHAH!!! kk lah. going to church wif elissa already! whoalala! valentine's service. LOL! (:

-God bless-

HAHAHAHAH!!! (:

hmmm...

2005-02-10T12:12:00.000-08:00

hmmm... i realized alot of things have changed. people's favourite ncos have changed. how pple drift apart from each other. alot of things have changed. HMM!! but i still cant believe my luck. maam kaiqian tagged my board! that was one of my wishes. hur hur. anyway. yeah. HAHA! im not broke anymore! cos of the ang baos. HAHAH!!! =P i realized maam amanda is scared of me when im high. o.o hahah! i realized adults are ALOT more cunning than children! cos i played this monopoly game wif my cousins. some adults and some children. the adults kept cheating the children! haha. but in the end, i won the game. -.-" i dunnoe y. but i had the most money and property. -.-" hahaha! anyway, tomorrow im going to school. ncc parade. going out wif jazreel and amelia for valentine's day thingy. hahaa(: then saturday, have to go for this valentine's church thing. haha!

cant wait for tomorrow. (:

Happy New Year To All (:

-God bless-

sat and sun

2005-02-06T18:10:00.000-08:00

hey! yesterday went to church wif elissa. met her at serene centre and i bought staff yimtong's birthday present. waha. then i went to buy...ANGELA'S present. (: 16th feb. waha. anyway! wanna noe wat her birthday present is, platoonmates? 2 candles. 1 candle has words like happy 16 bdae. and the other we love u staff yt. i had a hard time painting the words on the candles. o.o but nvm! i hope she likes it. platoon gift.

today, i went out wif my mom to buy some stuff. i got new glasses! YAYE!!! so happy. (: and i got a new skirt. waha. I LOVE MY GLASSES! getting it tomorrow evening! waha.

-God bless-

falling out isnt weak

2005-02-04T20:15:00.000-08:00

saw the new part As. they're nice people! really! at least they're not like UN-ENTHU. thats good. anyway, today's parade was terrible. im sorry, platoonmates! im really sorry that my standard was so lousy. and i had to fall out bcos i was sick. there were many times when i jus wanted to cry cos i felt so weak and all. staff yimtong kept telling me 'falling out isnt weak' hmmm.. SHE'S SO NICE! =P kk! i shallnt get high, yeah? later, maam kaiqian will show the O_O face. maam amanda came to visit us. but i didnt stay back to tok to her. -.-" never mind. next time. i think i still am having fever. tues and wed...high fever. oh? haha! (: this was one day where i didnt smile as much. i coughed more than i smile. sigh. mus get well! AAAAAAH~ then went to macs wif abi and susie. hmm... jus like wat abigail said. 'macs have been a weekly routine.' haha! but nvm. i enjoy it? haha!! (:

-God bless-

1st time skipping school

2005-02-02T14:12:00.000-08:00

hmm... decided not to go school today bcos of my throat problems. i hope my group is coping wif the OM today. laugh-a-thon. o.o

temptations!!! i noe i wanna study and not watch tv or use the comp. but i jus cant! i wonder how pple can actually sit there and study for hours!!! i cant do it. i jus have to walk around. eee! im so scared history will repeat itself. like last yr. elissa and i were so dead. O_O we nearly retained and stuff. aaah. many pple noe i wanna get into triple-science. but im doubting my abilities. shld i aim lower? to make it more realistic. HMM!!!

darn... the part As r coming. my physical strength still isnt good. how r they gonna look up to me if im so lousy. i think the part As will probably look down on the part Bs. eee.. this week, we have master/muster parade. waa! and this week, the part Bs have to show the ncc standard to the part As! oh maan!!! *faints* and we've to run 2km! i really hope i get well on friday. i noe the ncos will probably make us do 150 sit-ups and 100 push-ups! and the part As will jus b watching us. mayb they will have this stupid evil grin on their face. sadistic. haha! =P i thot i saw 20 sec 1s joining ncc. hah! amazing! but im so scared! how will i b able to help so many?! we have like 13 part Bs, 2 part Cs. 15 of us have to help 20 part As! die die die! i dun wish to have change parade. waaa! i mus get well on friday! MUST!!!

-God bless-

sickness

2005-02-01T17:49:00.000-08:00

today was my most terrible day to date. haha! i came to school when i was really sick bcos the 2 tests, geog and sci.

but i really wanna thank cherie, angela, jazreel, huifang, mrs. canham and the rest of the people hu were worried for me! THANK U! (:

georgi, candice and joanne tham told me to tell mrs. canham. then angela came over to tok to me bout ncc stuff. then i started crying cos i felt so sick. then angela, cherie and jazreel accompanied me to see mrs. canham. MRS CANHAM IS SO NICE! haha!!! then huifang took care of me. she started saying that if maam kaiqian was here, i would recover. i laughed and laughed. then ms. soh, mrs. chia[ms. low], ms. seah asked me wat happened. hah!

thank goodness i feel so much better. thank u people for ur kind and concern. feel so touched! (:

-God bless-

sickness

2005-01-31T16:30:00.000-08:00

aaah! came to school, feeling tired and sick. kept coughing like hell. amilyn and jazreel thot i had high fever. then we had pe... we had to run as many rounds as we could in 10 mins. i ran 7... and i wanted to puke. then zhiying, amilyn and jazreel told pple that i was mad bcos i had high fever but i still ran. o.o yeah... terrible. sick me...

i hope i get well by tomorrow! AAAH!

Happy Birthday Tasmana!

-God bless-

losing my voice

2005-01-30T10:17:00.000-08:00

aaargh! my voice is terrible. waaa! it started bcos on friday... i had to command. then after that.. i kept coughing. -.-" then i ate fried chicken wings. AND NOW ITS TERRIBLE! )= *sob sob* i hope tomorrow...my voice will b fine.

elissa still doesnt wanna admit that the guy was interested in her. HURR!!! =P k lah. shallnt tease her anymore.

31st is tasmana's birthday! yaye! haha! o.o

nothing else to write. -.-

-God bless-

staff yimtong's birthday is on 28th jan

2005-01-29T19:45:00.000-08:00

friday

Heh! Today is Staff Yimtong’s birthday! Er! Maam Kaiqian! Dun show that face! Hahah!! Maam Yenling, Maam Michelle and MAAM KAIQIAN came to visit us! HAHAH!!! Maam Kaiqian was super cute lah. Toking so much crap. =P Maam Kaiqian! Dun worry! U wont b alone! YOU’RE PRETTY LAH! Hahaha!!! I realize Maam Yenling, Maam Michelle, Maam Carmen AND MAAM KAIQIAN [-.-“] has bcome prettier! Woo! Hahaha!!!

Ran 1.8km today. Still cannot believe I actually did it! MUAHAH!!! Did bout 80 sit-ups! And…bout 60 push-ups. Hey guys. Really sorry that I wore the wrong socks. I still feel damn guilty lah. Stacey gave me the face. AAH! Guilty me. Mus remember. This is the 1st time I made the platoon owe. For 2005. Muahaha?! Okayy… =P

saturday

went to visit sylvia at the hospital wif denise, elissa, jazreel, jolyn, georgina and amilyn! yeah. she looked really sick. *sob sob* went to church. i accidently shouted 'oh my God' AAAH! the people in church were all staring at me... elissa said i made her embarrassed. EEYER! -.-"

-God bless-

denise taw's bdae

2005-01-27T20:23:00.000-08:00

today is denise's birthday! *sings a birthday song* haha!!! I LOVE THE GREEN LEAF TOY THINGY! aaah!! its so cute lah! i love doing the SWIMMING SWIMMING action. retarded! haha!!!

i realized it has been a long time since ive seen slam dunk. i used to b in love wif that show. i always laugh when the cheerleaders do the lukawa cheer. and sakuwagi[sp?] gets so envious. lol. and the gorilla's sister was in love wif lukawa. while sakuwagi[sp?] was in love wif her. that show made me wan to join bball last time. haha. i love sendoh! eee!! hes super humble and funny. =P

anyway...i realize its quite hard to make an impact on someone's life or to let the person remember u... SIGH!

DENISE IS EVIL!!! AND SO DAMN STRONG! wats wrong wif her ah! its like. im an ant and she can jus squash me to death! eee!!

-God bless-

wednesday

2005-01-26T16:44:00.000-08:00

thank u denise and jolyn for the converse socks!! i love the ankle socks. but...the high socks is gay lah! hahaha!!

today is darrell's birthday! tomorrow is denise's! AH TAW! HAHAHAH!! oops. january. filled wif so many pple's birthday! yaye! haha!!! (:

1. wish ah taw happy birthday

2. ask ah taw to use my wallet

everyone was quite shocked when they saw me. denise said i looked as if i came out from the oven. O_O cherie said my sunburn was really bad. jolyn, huifang, enwei pitied me. BUT ZHIYING DIDNT! she ah she ah! heartless snoopy! =P

kk lah. nth much to blog liaoz. haha! EVERYONE! PITY JAZREEL! lost her money and wallet k!

-God bless-

camp feast

2005-01-25T19:02:00.000-08:00

oh man... jus came back. my whole neck has been sunburned REALLY badly. and im having blisters. even my nose is sunburned. damn. anyway. i did ad-ceiling[sp?] its like from 4th storey u walk backwards all the way to the 1st storey. i nearly died 3-4 times. i kept sliding away from the wall. i did rock-climbing. but didnt make it to the top. but abi did. and one of the instructors is so wat lah! he treats guys nicer than girls. and thinks that scgs girls r a bunch of losers. WATEVER!!! anyway. yeah. i did this motivation course which has a lot of obsticles. i nearly died in one. cos i nearly fell down. but staff yimtong saved me! hahaha!! okok! mustnt get high yeah? yaaa... then i played paintball! WOW! damn fun lah! but if u get hit, its really pain. we did spider web and whale watch? hahah! mmm! camp feast is really fun except that its damn tiring.

my leaders were sergent sohlaimun. sir jerome!! sir leslie. sir jerome has this typical-guy-next-door look. but hes damn mean lah. REALLY mean. he makes fun of the guys. but hes okay lah. sir leslie ah... hes nice. but he's damn... weird. =\ he flirts wif this girl called jiali. i think hes like 20 years old?! and she's 14?! haha!!! i think sergent sohlaimun was REALLY stressed out. mmm.. and i realized that scgs standard was alot better than most of the schools. alot of scgs girls think that sir daniel is cute. i was like -_- haha? i hate the guys in my troop. they think that guys r better than girls? freak them lah. the girls standard is alot better than theirs. so WATEVER! guys! u can think ure better! BUT URE NOT! hahah!!!

the food and the beds were okay. (= after camp, went out wif abi and susy to macs. we did alot of stuff there! lol... kk then. haveta study for history test for tomorrow. sigh sigh.

*hope i can pass

-God bless

packing of camp feast

2005-01-23T13:41:00.000-08:00

finished packing everything for my camp feast. im super worried that i will b alone in the groupings. there's 7 platoons... and scgs have 13 part bs. i jus hope one platoon will have 3 scgs part bs, 5 platoons have 2 scgs part bs and 1 platoon have none scgs part bs. -.- hope so. hah! gonna have to wake up super early tomorrow. *sob sob* lol. anyway... mus remember to pass the lab rules to zhiying! aaaaah! sigh sigh sigh! camp feast, here i come dude! God, please bless me in my camp feast, yeah? Amen! (=

i watched the day after tomorrow again. great show. it showed me how a parent love their child so much as to risk his life to save his. *sob sob* it showed me how some people dun listen to other people advices and come to realise and regret. and it oso showed me how much a frenship is worth. unity is something so great. (= and it showed me how wat we do to the earth affects us. isnt that wat mrs. chan taught us? hah. how the water spread all around the northern hemisphere. it really scared me. it was as if i was watching the tsunami or something. the day after tomorrow! buy that vcd man! its a great show. haha. though the show scared me to death. but it touched my heart. haha!

-God bless-

lalala

2005-01-22T22:38:00.000-08:00

hmm...im nearly done wif the packing of my ncc camp and ive done my no. 4 uni. except for the boots. hur. yeah! im quite scared for the camp feast though. lol. i really wanna step out to take over as ic in the camp feast. but smth is pulling me back. fear and doubt. *shrugs* mayb lor... i dunnoe whether i shld have bought denise taw that wallet. later she dun use! then my money will b wasted. haha! she better use my wallet! haha! *yawn* tired. was toking to angela bout the annual camp 2004 and the coming annual camp 2005. maam amanda said it was gonna b veeeeery tough. sigh. will they make us do 200 push-ups? dunnoe whether i cry. haha. mus endure till i die. mustnt prove to the ncos that the part bs r weak! we're strong k! =P haha! but i cant even do a proper push-up. =\ if u ask me to do 100 push-ups of my own style. i can do it. =P heh! camp feast, here i come! TAAAAAA DAAAAAA! hur. (=

elissa is very funny. really. (=

-God bless-

hmmm!! thursday and friday

2005-01-21T21:06:00.000-08:00

thurs: went for prefects invest. hugged maam kaiqian and took picture wif maam yenling and maam kaiqian. PREFECTS INVEST 2005 ROCKS! (= really cool. then went to angela's house. whoa... i ate so much that my stomach felt like exploding. i ate mud pie! not...MUD pie... its like top layer is oreos then chocolate then vanilla with oreos then coffee then oreos again. VERY delicious. thanks angela! (=

friday: happy birthday gloria wong ah wong. i went for her birthday party. i ate alot again. haha! but i didnt feel that full. yeah. i hate pple hu take theirs friends for granted. and and and! i hate pple hu lies to others. i wish dewi all the best. do wat she wans that makes her truly happy. i realized girls [age 13-17] tend to flirt wif guys. its super irritating. bleah. anyway. i bought denise taw [ah taw. haha!] black adidas wallet. i hope she likes it -.- haha! (= bye!

happy birthday gloria!

aaaah~~~

2005-01-18T16:26:00.000-08:00

aaaaah~~~ im REALLY crazy over her,man... its craziness! i jus HAVE to see her or i will drop death or b miserable for the whole day. when i see her, i go high! hohoho! shes soo cute! cant stand it! AAH~ =P oh myyy... i have to see her now! okok...calm down. anyway. i dunnoe wat to do for the lit essay. -.-" and i do realize that im missing out on alot of things since im going on a camp which is on 24-25th january. 3 tests and OM. isnt it terrible. haha~! but im missing 3 tests! she and 1st sg alethea r coming along for the camp too! *drool* haha!!! ~~crazy cheryl~~ im dying lah! maam kaiqian told me not to bcome as crazy as s****! so i shall not b like her. im really thankful that maam kaiqian actually toked to me bout not quitting ncc. bcos after maam amanda scolded us and all. i did feel sad and thought of quitting. honestly, i jus wish that my drills r good! *sob sob* shld i quit? naaaw... ive climbed so far...and maam kaiqian took the effort to tok to me bout not quitting and i did promise her that i wouldnt quit. (: i shallnt give up! for her and for maam kaiqian! hohoho!

-God bless-

netball

2005-01-15T19:16:00.000-08:00

jus came home. hur hur. woke up at 6.30am. went to school for netball at 8am to support the tsunami people. only 3 pple[me jazreel elissa] that were suppose to b playing turned up. so the only 2 supporters[amilyn and rachel leong] for netball game had to play. we played against 4sy. staff sg yimtong's grp. terrible man. we only had 5 people. they had 7. we lost terribly. then we played against the sec 4 netballers. lucky, celene, yirui and yingxin turned up. so happy. (: anyway. yeah. but we still lost. then we played against the squash people. YAYE! we won! HAHA! super happy lah. met maam kaiqian. toked for a while then i brought her to see staff sg yimtong. she realized the primary school changed. hahaha... so cute. yeah... then, staff was super shock to see maam kaiqian. yups. toked for 10 mins plus plus. staff sg yimtong isnt saddistic[sp?] lah...shes very nice and cute. maam kaiqian wanted staff sg yimtong to scold us and let the part bs pump 100 or 200! but she was jus kidding. then staff sg yimtong demostrated how she stared at susannah when susannah was at fault. whoa. i got a shock man. she suddenly grabbed my hands and stared hard at me. so scary. haha! netball is really fuuun! really glad i came today(: heh!! maam kaiqian and staff sg yimtong and the netball thing made my day.

went waffletown wif jazreel, elissa and amilyn. after that, elissa and i walked around the coronation plaza, serene centre and church for like... 4 hours?! super bored lah. today's church service was okaay lah. elissa saw cheryl neoh. she hated her. hah! this yr sec 1s and p6s really suck like hell. bleah?

-God bless-

siiigh...

2005-01-14T19:37:00.000-08:00

i dunnoe wat to say. jus came back from ncc. tired. really tired. let me start of wif the start. went to school feeling happy and all. had lessons. train drills wif some of my platoonmates. i really dun understand. c'mon lah. we took so much effort to plan out the days. monday, wednesday and friday, during recess time. werent we suppose to practice our drills? its not only to train for our drills. its to make us more united. anyway, had ncc. did pt. when we finish running and came to the amphi, my knees jus dropped on the ground. i was so tired. and i almost fainted. sigh. had interaction wif the part b ncos. i really love my part b ncos. they're nice people. honest! (= then we had company drill. i cant take it. i cant do drills. sometimes i jus wanna quit ncc and end drills. i cant do drills! coporal yimkuan pumped for us bcos we didnt do our drills properly. i hate it when the ic jus have to take the responsibility for everything. maam amanda was really disappointed in us. said sorry to her. almost cried. abigail cried. she was pissed off wif maam amanda, the ncos. yeah. honestly, im not pissed off. im jus disappointed in my platoon. i dun get y pple r so hardworking in front of the ncos. but when we jus want 10 mins frm their recess time to practice our drills. they JUS WONT COME. asked the part b ncos whether we could have extra training wif them. they seemed impressed. haha... anyway... shld i quit ncc? if i quit, i wanna join bball! haha! very tired. very tired. very tired.

Happy Birthday Jazreel!

Happy Birthday Godric!

-God bless-

y******

2005-01-12T17:01:00.000-08:00

i get so high when i go school. cos i noe i will see y. (ahem) everyone in the platoon and my good frens all noe i like her! but its not unusual lor... part bs sort of have this fan club for y. LOL! =P sometimes i wonder whether im turning les. LOL! choy choy! but honestly. y is so nice and cute! *drool* LOL?! i remember last yr i liked y oso lah. but not as crazy as now. then everyone in the platoon was wondering y i like Y and maam kaiqian. but now they noe y i like Y! =P aaaw man. so adorable lah. the way she thinks and all. HEH HEH HEH! *jumps up and down* im getting very distracted in school. cant take it! needa concentrate on my studies too! =DD Y shall motivate me! shes so smart. heh heh =P kk lah! later everyone will all b annoyed wif me writing soo much bout Y!!!!! HEH! (=

Happy Birthday Cherie!

-God bless-

maam kaiqian

2005-01-10T19:47:00.000-08:00

jus came home!! (= heh heh heh! *grins evilly* went to school, got booking bcos i was late. got warning bcos of untucked shirt! bad day...but something brightened me up! anyway... i was bending my head and walking upstairs bcos i was late... then there were one pair of legs standing on top of the stairs. then i was like 'eh? looks like mr ang's legs' HAHA! anyway... he was like 'hmmm???' then i was like 'good after-morning mr. ang' lol! yeah... so embarrassing. then i saw him again bcos i was late for pe lesson. -_-" mmm... went out wif gloria. i waited for her for... 1 hr 16 mins! )= but but but! i saw maam kaiqian in far east! EE!!! so cute lah! it was like this girl wearing scgs sch uni. then i was like 'eh? looks like maam kaiqian' so i walked faster and looked at her face! EEE! IT WAS HER! HUUUR! *drool!* super cute lah! so i poked her shoulder at the back lah. then she turned around and said 'eh? hello!' then i asked whether i could hug her. and we hugged! aaaw. heh heh heh. then she asked me y i was here and which class was i in. heh! SO CUTEEEE!!! fate brought us together...=P LOL! hee hee. yeah. i bought 2 purses. wonder y 2? 1 is for my cards and money. the other for neoprints and notes that pple gimme. so i used a keychain to link them together. i like it. but i dun think pple will like it. =P nvm! (= MAAM KAIQIAN! heh heh! she's sooo cute! (= yeah yeah! =DD going out wif gloria to shop for clothes was supeeer long lah. (= but i had a fun time. heeeh! especially the meeting maam kaiqian part. LOL! =P thanks glor. see u on 21st. ahem ahem? HAHA!

-God bless-

tsunami

2005-01-09T20:28:00.000-08:00

slept at 3am yesterday! lemme tell u y... *makes everyone listen* =P got off the comp at 11.30pm cos my dad kept scolding me bout using the comp and not studying. so i went to study all the way until 2.30am. and i decided to read bout tsunami again. *thunder* i cried for half an hour...bcos... my most favourite maid[yati] could b affected in it. i dunnoe... sigh... and she promised to come back. wat if...wat if... no... it cant be right? tsunami... yati...

anyway... mus b happy ya? (= woke up at 8.30am and started finishing all my homework. heh. I FINISHED MY CHINESE PROJECT! WOO! then went out wif my mom to do some grocery shopping. i counseled her again. O_O she said i've grown more mature and positive. AAAW! so sweet right... *blushes like mad* LOL! i hate math! AARGH! i jus cant stand the negative indices! bleah. sigh.

-God bless-

//1 minute silence huh...\\